The Dance:
A Little Attracted 
by Annie and Jai

Wade looked up at the stage, a mixture of excitement and trepidation filling him.  They had been planning for six months.  Four months of preliminaries, two months of rehearsals all culminating in this night.  The opening night of the Crazy  Tour.  Though he was only being credited as choreographer, Wade's hand was all over this tour.  The choreography, incidental music, direction.  He had worked so hard on this.  He needed it to be perfect.  He wasn't going to be dancing in this tour, but that didn't really bother him.  It had been six months since he had been on a stage, and he found that he really didn't miss it all that much.  He was finding that he really preferred to work behind the scenes.  The last time had been the 1999 Video Music Awards. 

In those six months, Wade had fallen into a habit that he wasn't very proud of.  After a full day of working, he would go out and find a random guy to go home with.  If his patterns were examined closely, it would be noticed that his choices were usually tall and slim, with curly hair, almost always blond.  But if confronted, he would probably claim it was just a coincidence.

In the back of mind, a nagging voice kept repeating to him, 'You're in Florida.  He'll probably be here tonight.'  But he pushed the thought away impatiently.  That was the last thing he wanted to think about now.  He had managed to avoid Justin for six months.  He could do it for a few more.  For as long as it took.

Deep down, though, Wade knew he wanted to see Justin. To hear his voice. To see his smile. 'Stop it, Wade. Just stop it.'

Wade was still trying to get Justin out of his head, when her voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Wade?"

Jumping slightly, he turned around, and saw Britney standing behind him. "Hey Brit. What's up?"

"I wanted to let you know that Justin was going to be at the show tonight."

"Really?" Wade said, feigning disinterest. "That's nice."

Britney shrugged. "I just thought you'd like to know. I really think you two could get along great, Wade. He likes you; he told me that he did."

Wade turned to look at Britney, trying to hide his smile. "He did?"

"Of course. I told you that before, silly. Why wouldn't he like you?"

Wade shrugged. "I don't know. I just...well, I guess I'll see him tonight, then?"

"Yep. And don't go avoiding him this time, like you did when he came to visit during rehearsals," Britney said with mock sternness.

"What do you mean, avoiding him? Why would I avoid him?"

Britney gave Wade a look. "I don't know, Wade, but you do. Maybe you don't even realize it, but you do. It's like he intimidates you or something."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Wade said, looking away.

"I thought that maybe it had something to do with the VMA's."

"What do you mean?" Wade asked, startled.

"I mean about what he said to you when you guys first met.  About your hair.  But I figured you were over that.  And really, that's a silly reason to avoid someone."

Wade shrugged and said, "We need to get back to rehearsals."

Britney looked like she wanted to say something else, but didn't. "You're the boss," she said instead.

"Funny," Wade said.  He tried to keep his mind on what was going on around him but his thoughts kept wandering back to Justin.

Britney sighed. "Wade, you're the one who wanted to get back to rehearsal and you're not even paying attention."

Wade shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. "I'm sorry, you're right. I'm good now."

The rehearsal was not one of their best, and Wade called it quickly. Then he wandered backstage so he could be by himself to think. He was going to see Justin. Tonight. Tonight he was going to see Justin. Why the hell did he care so much?
From that first meeting with Justin, he had known there was a connection. It was a connection he wanted to deny, but he knew it was there.  Ever since, he'd always tensed up or gotten nervous at the mere mention of Justin. And when he saw Justin, it was as if his insides were churning. Wade knew there was something... different about their relationship, if you could even call it that, but he didn't know what.

Britney was right when she said that he had been avoiding Justin. For some reason he just hated the idea of seeing Britney and Justin together. He didn't want to be reminded of the kiss he had witnessed.  The idea of it caused a strange bitterness to well up inside him. It was a feeling that he didn't understand, and definitely didn't like.

Wade sighed to himself and grabbed his bag, making his way out of the venue. He spent the trip back to the hotel deep in thought. Why should he care if Britney and Justin were together? They were obviously happy and in love. The futility of an attraction to Justin was very plain. It was obvious to anyone who actually paid attention that Justin and Britney were together, and in love.  If he fell for Justin, or even wanted him in that way, it would ruin his friendship with Britney and the chance of one with Justin. And he didn't want that. "I don't have feelings for Justin," he told himself as he made his way into the hotel, determined to believe it.

Wade stripped down and jumped in the shower, hoping that it would help clear his mind. As usual, his thoughts wandered to Justin. And his hand wandered down his body.  His hand brushed lightly over his balls and he moaned to himself. He could almost picture the hand as Justin's, stroking him, Justin's soft lips on his neck, that beautiful voice whispering into his ear...

"Justin..." he murmured, resting his head against the wet tiles, as his hand began to move on his cock.  He closed his eyes, letting himself imagine that it really was Justin jerking him off, that Justin was there with him right now, those blue eyes staring at him with passion in them, lust, just for him. "God, Justin..."

He could almost feel those soft lips against his. He knew they were soft. He could just tell. He could feel that strong hand speeding up, varying the stroke, driving him to the edge. He could hear Justin, in his mind, telling him that he was beautiful and sexy and all the things Wade wanted to believe about himself. And when he could hear Justin saying them, he almost believed them. With a shout, he came all over his hands, snapping out of the fantasy.

Sighing deeply, he sank to the bottom of the shower. "Ok," he muttered. "Maybe I'm a little attracted."

 

Justin watched from backstage as Britney did one of her numbers, smiling slightly at the way she moved. Looking at her other dancers for a moment, Justin couldn't help but think that it was a shame that Wade wasn't dancing on this tour.  Wade had seemed to move more in tune, more gracefully, better than the rest of them. "That's because he's the choreographer, dork," Justin said to himself.

Justin wasn't surprised to find his thoughts turning to Wade.  They had done so often during the past six months.  The younger man was beautiful, Justin was able to admit that. He was the kind of person who could admire beauty in all its forms. And Wade certainly possessed a great deal of beauty and grace. And talent.  Oh yeah, Wade had talent. Justin didn't think he'd ever met someone as talented as Wade who wasn't even eighteen years old yet. Justin just hoped Wade would agree to what he was going to ask after the concert was over.

He looked at Britney again. She was beautiful. And sexy. And hot. And she was his. He was so lucky to have her, even if no one could know. So why wasn't he satisfied with her?

He put his thoughts aside as the number ended and she came backstage for a quick change. "What did you think?" she asked breathlessly, and he kissed her quickly.

"It was great, you were great." She smiled at him and hurried to slip on her next outfit. Justin looked up and saw Wade looking at him. He was too far away to read the expression on Wade's face, so Justin just smiled and waved.

Wade froze momentarily, but quickly recovered, raising his hand to wave to Justin. He tried to move from the spot, but he seemed to be rooted there. Panic welled up in him as Justin started walking towards him.

The memory of what he had witnessed months ago came back into Wade's mind.  He hadn't expected Justin and Britney to kiss and he hadn't expected to be so effected by it. And now Justin was walking towards him. "Hey," Justin said, flashing that trademark grin.

"H...hi," Wade stammered, cursing himself for sounding like such an idiot.

If Justin noticed Wade's discomfort, he made no mention. Cocking his head to the side, he looked at Wade closely. "Great show, man."

"I...um. Thanks, man."

"No, really. Those are some great dances you're coming up with. I... am I gonna see you after the concert? There's something I want to ask you."

Wade nodded. "Yeah, definitely."

Justin grinned and said, "Cool. So I'll see you later." And as Justin walked off, Wade thought his heart was going to burst from beating so fast.

 

Wade was exhausted. He didn't mind, though, because to him that meant the show had gone well.  He leaned his head against the back of the cushioned booth where he sat and closed his eyes, suddenly feeling able to do little else.

"Hey kid," a familiar voice said.

"Justin."  Wade lifted his head slowly and opened his eyes.

Justin grinned and sat down in the booth across from Wade. "Some show, huh?"

Wade nodded, taking a sip of his Coke. "What did you want to talk to me about?" he asked, trying to sound casual and hoping it worked.

"Well... I've seen the stuff you do with Brit. I think it's great. And we, as a group, have worked with you before and all the guys agree with me that you work really well with us. We've got a tour coming up and I was wondering... would you like to help out? Choreograph a couple of the dances, do some technical stuff?"

Wade looked at him in shock. "Me?"

Justin nodded. "Yeah, we think you'd do a great job."

Wade bit his lip. He wanted to accept the offer. More than anything, he wanted to. But he was worried. "Don't you already have a choreographer?"

Justin nodded again. "Yeah, a couple.  But we wanted to get a lot of variety in there.  Different stuff.  And your stuff is different."

Wade tried to think of some reason to say no, but nothing was coming. "I'm not sure, Justin," he said finally.

Justin felt his confidence leaving him. "Why not?  We'd pay you, you know."

Wade couldn't help smiling. "Well, I would hope so."

Justin laughed. "Well, you know, just had to make sure I was adding that in there."

Wade thought for a second. He knew it would be stupid of him not to say yes but something was stopping him. "Can I think about it?"

Justin nodded, feeling a little down for some reason. "Yeah, sure man. No pressure."

Wade thought he noticed disappointment in Justin's expression, but dismissed it as wishful thinking. "How many songs would you need me for?"

"Just a couple. Four at the most."

"And when does the tour start?"

"May 9th."

Wade nodded. "That gives me two months."

Justin nodded. "Yeah. Look, I really appreciate you even considering this. I know it's kinda short notice." Then, not sure what to do next, Justin smiled at Wade.

"I'll do it," Wade blurted out, shocking himself.

Justin was a little surprised. "Wow, you will?" He smiled at Wade again. "Thank you so much, man. I was really hoping you'd say yes."

Wade smiled. "Really?"

"Yeah, I really was." Justin let out a relieved laugh.

"Thank you," Wade said. "I'm...I'm flattered that you'd even think of me."

"Man, you were on the top of the list. Chris and JC were throwing out some other names, but I was just like... no. We have to get Wade."

"Wow...I...I don't know what to say. Just...thank you."

Justin shrugged. "No problem, man."

Wade felt himself blushing. He knew he sounded like an idiot, and he wanted to end this conversation. "So, um, you'll, or I'll be in touch, ok?"

"Definitely. I... you know, maybe you and I... we could hang out sometime?"

Wade blinked. "H-hang out?"

"Yeah, I mean... I get if you don't want to or anything, but I don't have a lot of friends close to my age or anything. I mean, the guys are great, but it's nice to have someone outside of them. I guess." Justin laughed. "I'm kind of a dork, I'm sorry."

Wade shook his head. "Nah, nah. It sounds cool. I don't really have a lot of...friends. I guess I'm a dork myself."

Justin smiled. "Then us dorks should unite, right?"

Justin was about to say something else when a drunken Britney plopped down into his lap. "Hi," she said, giggling, swaying in his lap.

Wade's smile faded. "Um, so...yeah. I gotta go and...yeah. Call me, and we'll make some plans."

Britney giggled. "Stay, Wade. I wanna chat with you."

Wade turned back to face them. "What's up, Brit?"

Britney laughed, sliding off Justin's lap. Wade noticed that Justin didn't exactly look amused. "Did Justy ask you about the tour?"

Wade nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, he did."

"Did you say yes?" Britney asked, slurring as she spoke.

Wade looked past Britney to Justin, who was rolling his eyes slightly. "Uh huh."

"Yay! Fun, fun, fun!" Britney started laughing and Justin pulled her up, supporting her.

"All right Brit, you've had enough. Let's go back to the hotel, all right?" Justin looked at Wade apologetically. "I'm sorry."

A part of Wade wondered what Justin was apologizing for, but he simply shrugged and said, "No problem, man."

Britney wrapped her arms around Justin, kissing him sloppily. "I looove you Justin!"

Justin nodded. "I love you too, now come on, let's go." Britney continued to giggle and Justin waved to Wade before they disappeared into the crowd of the club.

 

The ringing of the telephone cut into Wade's pleasant dream. Mumbling sleepily, he reached for the phone. "'lo?"

"Hey Wade, it's Justin."

Wade's eyes snapped open. "Justin?"

"Yeah, hey man. What's up?"

"Not much," Wade said, sitting up, and checking the clock. "I haven't been up very long."

"Oh, man, sorry, did I wake you up?"

"No, no," Wade lied. "I was up. Just not up."

Justin laughed slightly. "I'm kind of an early riser sometimes. Um... did you have any plans today?"

"No, nothing," Wade said, his heart starting to pound.

Justin smiled to himself. "Um... so I can come over and bother you then?"

Wade swallowed nervously. "Yeah. Sure. That would be great."

Justin laughed. "All right man. Um... do you just wanna stop by my room whenever you're ready? I'm already kinda... yeah." Justin laughed again. "I don't know why I feel so... stupid right now."

Wade nodded, though he knew Justin could not see. "Yeah, I'll be down in a little bit. Half hour, maybe? At the most."

"Awesome. See you then."

"Yeah. Can't wait." As soon as those words left his mouth, Wade felt his face grow warm. "I...um, I mean..."

Justin smiled on the other end of the line. "I can't wait either. See you in a few." He hung up the phone, feeling oddly happy, and he didn't know why.

 

Wade showered quickly, resisting the urge that came over him when his thoughts again turned to Justin. He dressed quickly, and fixed his hair. Looking at himself in the mirror, he frowned slightly, before shaking his head. "Doesn't matter how I look," he muttered.

Swiftly he walked towards Justin's room, hesitating outside the door. 'What am I doing?' he wondered to himself, trying to steel his resolve. Finally, he lifted his hand and knocked on the door.

Justin opened the door a moment later, smiling. "Hey man, come in. It's a bit messy, but I figure we won't stay here long anyway."

Wade swallowed at that smile. "Yeah," he said. "Why bother being neat if we're only here for a day?"

Justin laughed, moving aside to let Wade in. "It's more like how the hell can you make such a mess in only one day?"

Wade grinned, moving past Justin. "You should see my room."

Justin grinned. "Wow, someone who's equally or more messy than I am? How can that be?"

Wade shrugged. "I guess I just don't see any point in it. I'm busy enough. Why bother cleaning up when there's someone coming in that gets paid to do it." He smiled. "That probably sounded awful."

Justin laughed and shook his head. "Not at all. I'm just as bad."

"Guess we have something in common then," Wade said softly. "So, what's up?"

"Nothing much. What do you wanna do? I really don't have any idea, I'm kinda bad at deciding what to do with my time."

Wade shrugged. "I don't know. I don't get a lot of free time."

"No, I guess you wouldn't, would you?" Justin tried to think for a moment. "We could just... get to know each other. I don't know a lot about you."

"Um, ok," Wade said, trying not to sound nervous. "Should we maybe...go out? I mean..." he continued, when he realized how that might have sounded. "I mean get out of your room?"

Justin nodded. "Yeah, because you know, messy. And kinda small. Uh... we could just... drive around until we see somewhere that interests us."

"That sounds good," Wade said.

Justin nodded. "Well okay then, let's go." He grabbed his keys, waiting for Wade, holding the door open, and laughing slightly as he realized what he was doing.

Wade glanced at Justin. "What's so funny?"

Justin shook his head. "Nothing, I just..." he motioned to the door he was holding open.  "Force of habit, I guess." Then Justin grinned. "Not that I mind holding the door open for you." Justin blushed slightly as he realized how that sounded.

Wade smiled. "Such a gentleman," he said as he walked past Justin.

Justin grinned. "Well, I try."

They walked down to the garage, not speaking.  Wade snuck little glances in Justin's direction, trying to read the other man's expression, with no luck.  "OK," Justin said.  "This is it."

"Whose car?" Wade asked.

"Borrowed it from Brit's security," Justin said, opening the passenger door for Wade.  Wade laughed at this, and Justin smiled.  "Always the gentleman, right?"

Wade climbed into the car, put on his seatbelt and waited for Justin to get in.  Justin went over to the other side, got in and buckled his seatbelt before starting up the car. "So..." Justin started, really not sure where to take the conversation.

"So, um..." Wade started, "how are you?"  Wincing, he rolled his eyes at his own stupidity. 

"I'm doing good, I guess. How about you?"

"Pretty good."  Wade sighed.  "I'm sorry; I'm not really good at conversations."

Justin smiled. "That's okay; I'm not the greatest either. Usually when I'm carrying on a conversation with someone, what they say goes right over my head. Then again, I'm not all that bright, so..." Justin laughed as he trailed off, his eyes scanning the road for anything that looked interesting.

"I'm sure you're very bright," Wade said.  "More than me, at least."

Justin looked at Wade. "I doubt it. I'm not the teenage wonderboy who does everything. I bet you can even talk in a different language. Me, I have a hard time with adding two and two."

"Well, I mean, it's not like you don't have an excuse.  I mean, you didn't get to go to school, really, did you?"

"Well, no, I really didn't, but neither did you," Justin pointed out. "Hey, there's a bowling alley. You like bowling?"

Wade shrugged. "I've never really played."

Justin grinned and turned into the parking lot. "Well then I guess I'm gonna have to teach you."

Wade smiled.  "Ok."

Justin parked the car and checked to make sure he had his wallet with him. "It's not hard, I promise. All you do is roll a big ball down an alley. We can even put up the bumpers if you want."

Wade laughed.  "Remedial bowling?"

Justin grinned. "Well, for beginners. I'm sure you'll pick it up quickly. Probably kick my ass the first round and then I'll feel pretty stupid."

"Somehow I doubt it," Wade said.  "But thanks anyway."

Justin grinned, opening the door to the bowling alley. "We'll see."

Wade smiled, and walked past Justin into the bowling alley.  Justin walked up to the person at the counter, Wade behind him. He turned to Wade, "What's your shoe size?"

"Twelve," Wade said.

Justin grinned, "Same." He asked the person for two pairs of size twelve shoes and paid for the games, handing Wade his shoes as he looked around for their lane.

"Thanks," Wade said, taking the shoes.  "How much do I owe you?"

"Um... you owe me the games we're about to play. I don't expect you to pay me back," Justin said, lacing up his shoes.

"Are you sure?" Wade asked, toeing off his sneakers.

Justin nodded, setting his normal tennis shoes off to the side. "Yeah, man. I only charge the people I don't like." Justin grinned and then turned to go find a bowling ball.

Wade smiled at Justin's back.  'He likes me,' he thought to himself.  The very thought made him want to slap himself in the head.  'Not that way, you moron.  He's just being nice.  Don't act like this is a date or anything.'

Justin looked at the balls, trying to determine which one would be the easiest for Wade to use, since he was a beginner. 'God, what is it about him?' Justin thought to himself, picking a ball up and testing its weight.

Wade watched Justin testing the balls, admiring the way the muscles in his arms flexed as he lifted.   "Damn it," he muttered.  "Stop."

Justin finally decided on a ball for Wade and grabbed one for himself, making his way back to the lane, smiling to himself as he saw Wade messing with the scorekeeper.

"What does this do?" Wade said, poking a button.

Justin laughed. "That starts the game. Here, let me show you how it works."

Wade moved over to make room for Justin. 

Justin sat down next to Wade and proceeded to tell him what the buttons did and how to work the machine. "It's not so bad, really. Here, go ahead and hit the start button and we can enter our names."

Wade looked at Justin, and smiled.  "Sure I won't mess anything up?" he asked jokingly.

Justin grinned and nodded. "I promise."

With exaggerated care, Wade reached out and pressed the button.  "Did I break anything?"

Justin feigned nervousness. "I don't know..."

"Justin..."

"Yes?"

"It's ok, right?"

Justin laughed. "I was kidding, Wade. You did it fine."

"Ok," Wade said with a laugh.  "So now what?"

"Now you hit that button," Justin said, pointing, "and enter one of our names. Then you hit it again and enter the other name. Then you hit this button," Justin told him, pointing to another button, "and we're good to go."

"Doesn't sound so tough," Wade said, entering his name, and Justin's.  "So...now what?"

"Now you hit the button to start the game."

Wade laughed again.  "More buttons?" he said, hitting the button.  "Jesus."

Justin nodded. "That was the hard part. It's all rolling from here."

Wade smiled.  "I guess I'll just follow your lead, then."

Justin grinned, standing up and grabbing his ball. He studied the lane for a moment before moving forward, rolling the ball down the alley.

Wade watched as the ball struck, and all the pins fell.  "Nice job," he said, clapping.

Justin turned back to Wade and grinned. "Thank you. Your turn."

Wade stood up with a sigh, and grabbed a ball.  He tried to imitate Justin's stance, and threw the ball.  "Oh man," he said, his voice slightly amused, and embarrassed, as it rolled into the gutter.  "Oh man!"

Justin grinned and said, "Man, that's better than I did my first roll."

Wade rolled his eyes.  "Nice try, Justin."

Justin smiled. "I'm serious. Yours rolled further before going into the gutter."

"Well, thanks...I guess," Wade said with a laugh.

Justin grinned. "Anytime."

"Your turn now?"

Justin shook his head. "No, you get to go again. You always go twice unless you get a strike on your first roll."

"Oh," Wade said, "great."  His voice was less than enthusiastic.

Justin gave him an encouraging smile. "You can do it, I know you can."

Wade felt warmth spreading through him when he saw that smile.  He picked up his ball, walked to the line, and threw, closing his eyes as he released.

"See that? You hit three pins!"

Wade opened his eyes and looked.  "Damn.  How did I do that?"

Justin shrugged, grinning. "You must be a born natural."

"I'm sure," Wade said, smiling.  "So...now it's your turn?"

Justin nodded. "Yeah, now it's my turn." Justin got up, grabbed his ball and looked at the lane for a moment. Trying not to smile to himself, he rolled his ball, purposely aiming at the gutter. He feigned disappointment as it rolled out of the gutter. "Damn it," he muttered, waiting for his ball to come back up.

Wade eyed him suspiciously.  "Too bad."

Justin shrugged. "It happens." He rolled his ball again, aiming to the left and knocking over four pins.

"Hmm," Wade said.  "Well, good effort?"

"I didn't say I was a good bowler," Justin said, sitting down.

Wade picked up his ball.  "I thought you were good at everything," he said, throwing his ball.  "Damn it," he muttered as it knocked over one pin.

As Wade grabbed his ball, Justin stood up, moving behind the younger man. Justin placed his hands on Wade's arms, moving them around to position them. "This is how you wanna hold your ball," Justin told him.

Wade swallowed sharply, closing his eyes.  The scent and feel of Justin so close to him made him feel slightly dizzy.  The tickle of breath against his ear when Justin spoke made goose bumps rise all over his body.  "Like this?" he asked, his voice shaky.

Justin nodded. "Just like that. And when you go to roll your ball, just... let it fall off your fingers. Don't think so much about hitting the pins as just... letting it go."

Wade nodded wordlessly.  He brought his arm back, Justin's hand still over his, then brought it forward and released the ball.  He was so intent on the touch of Justin's fingers on his skin and his breath on his neck that he didn't even notice the remaining pins falling.

Justin pulled away from Wade and let out a whoop of joy. "You did it!"

Wade felt the loss of the warmth, and turned to face Justin.  "I did..."

Justin smiled. "We can make a natural born bowler out of you yet."

Wade's eyes went from Justin's face to the end of the lane, where the pins were being reset.  "Wow.  I guess you're just a good teacher."

Justin shook his head. "Nah, man, it was there all along."

"And you brought it out," Wade said with a soft smile.

Justin blushed slightly. "Well, I guess I'm good for something then, right? What was I thinking, becoming a pop star when I could've been a bowling instructor?" He grinned and stood up to take his turn, still throwing his game.  He had never been so happy to lose in his life.