The Last Dance
by Annie

I slid my hand into his, pulling him close. It was only us, standing in his living room. The music was playing softly through his stereo system. It felt like we were the only two people in the world as we started to sway to the music.

Then again, that's always how it was with us.

He was leaving in the morning, to go on tour.

I wasn't going to go with him this time.

I can still remember the look on his face when I told him that. That look alone made me want to change my decision in a heartbeat. But as crazy as it may sound, I want to start doing things for me.

I still don't think he fully understands that.

And he wouldn't. He's always been in the spotlight, the front man. He's always had his own identity. I don't think he'll ever know what it's like to want to be your own person. To not be known as "the choreographer" or "the guy that teaches *NSYNC to dance", but to be known as just Wade.

I tried explaining this all to him. And he just told me that to the people that mattered, I was just Wade. I tried telling him it was more then that, but he doesn't get it.

He thinks I'm leaving him.

I hold him just a little closer, and he rests his head on my shoulder. This is the last time we're going to see each other for who knows how long.

And we're both afraid that our relationship wont survive.

I try to have faith, because I love him. But it's hard. No one knows about us, so it's not like I'll have that many valid excuses to go and see him. He told me that when he has a day or two in-between shows, he'll fly out to me, but both of us know he wont be able to do that without exhausting himself.

And I wonder, is it really worth it? Could I really lose the man I love just to state my independence? And is it so wrong to want it all? To have him and my own name. He has it, why can't I?

And then I realize that no matter how much I might want it in that shallow part of me, I will never be like Justin.

And maybe I don't want to be like Justin. I don't exactly want the world falling at their feet over me, the pressure of being perfect in the eyes of everyone. But I still want to be Wade. To be known for my accomplishments that have nothing to do with *NSYNC, or Britney, or anyone else. Things that are mine and mine alone.

Maybe I'm selfish. I just... can't help feeling the way I do. Hopefully Justin will understand that one day.

I can hear the music fading out, and I don't want it to. I want to put the song on repeat so Justin and I can stay like this forever.

But of course, it ends, and I'm left feeling like there's a part of me that's about to become empty or missing.

As we pull away from each other, Justin gives me a soft smile.

"I love you," he whispers.

And before I can say it back, he kisses me, and God I love the feel of his lips on mine. I don't even know how long it lasts, but the thought that it might be the last one breaks my heart.

And we both have tears in our eyes when it ends.

We don't say anything to each other. There just aren't any words to be said.

I don't want to go home.

And as if he reads my mind, he looks at me with those eyes, those beautiful eyes. "Stay the night?"

"There's nowhere else I'd rather be."