Mine
by Annie

It doesn’t matter.

I tell myself that because I want to believe that it doesn’t. I wish I believed my own lies, but I don’t. I can’t. Not when I see him everyday and I still remember what I could’ve had.

Lance, you see, was mine for a time. And I took him for granted, treated him like shit, and never once told him I loved him. I did that because at the time, I didn’t believe I did. He told me once, that he loved me. You want to know what I said? "You’re such a girl, Lance." And isn’t -that- the closest thing to a fucking Shakespeare sonnet you’ve ever heard?

No wonder he left me.

And JC got to him before I had the chance to realize what I had lost. Damn, I hate him. I hate them both.

And I know that I’ll never have my shot at Lance again, because JC doesn’t treat Lance badly. JC loves him like he’s the only person on this Earth worthy of love. JC is kind, gentle, caring, loving... things I never was. JC holds his hand and protects Lance from anything and anyone. I wonder if he feels like he should protect Lance from me...

I was looking around on the internet, reading some fan speculations. They were saying how it was obvious that Lance and I didn’t get along as well as we used to. If they only knew how correct they were.

I could pretend that I don’t miss Lance, and his arms around me, but the truth is that I do. I miss him like a fish would miss the water, like a bird would miss the air...

And now, it seems like Lance has everything he could ever want. Everything I could never give him. If he only knew that now I would give it all to him in a heartbeat, if he would just let me in again, let me love him. Give me a second chance.

However, I know that I had my shot and I lost it.

He wont be mine, not now or ever again.

That fucking sucks.

He wont be mine...