See, here's the thing. She knew she didn't deserve him. She knew that he shouldn't have been hers. She knew that he didn't really want to be with her.

She wasn't stupid. She knew why Justin stopped sleeping with her, why he stopped kissing her, calling her, taking her out and just being with her.

He was in love with someone else. She just didn't know who. And naturally, she wanted to know.

So she watched him. She observed him when they were together. And once she realized, she could've smacked herself for not realizing it sooner.

Wade.

He was in love with Wade.

It was so obvious. They way they looked at each other. The subtle yet not so subtle touches. How much time they spent together. The way Justin’s face lit up whenever someone mentioned Wade. How Justin could talk about Wade for hours.

She knew that Justin stayed with her because she loved him. He wanted to be fair to her.

She was keeping him and not letting him go and she knew it.

Yet somehow… she couldn’t bring herself to care.

Sure, she saw that look in Justin’s eyes. The one that told her he was miserable. That what he really wanted was to be with Wade.

She would just pretend that it wasn’t there.

Justin would spend a lot of time away from her. She knew he was with Wade. And that was ok, because Justin would always come back to her in the end.

He had to.

It didn’t matter to her if she made him hate her, he wouldn’t leave, and they both knew it. And maybe deep down under, he liked the security of their relationship just as much as she did.

Although in her heart, she knew he’d get that and probably much more in a relationship with Wade. But she would never say that. Because whatever Justin would gain, she would lose.

And that just couldn’t happen.

As far as she was concerned, Justin was hers. And he always would be.

He loved Justin. God, how could he not? Everything about Justin was just… so easy to love.

But at the same time... it was so hard.

She made it hard, because she wouldn’t let him go. And Justin couldn’t bring himself to do it for her.

He wasn’t sure why Britney had that hold over Justin. He just knew that it was so hard to love Justin in secret, and then see him pretend to love her everywhere else.

When it was just the two of them… it was like they were in their own little world together. They could just forget everything else. They could just… be.

But moments like that were few and far between.

And it was because of her.

Wade hated her.

He hated that she kept Justin away from him, kept them from having the life together that they deserved.

He would plead with Justin to end things with her, for them, but Justin honestly believed she had no idea.

And Wade found that sweet naivety, in it’s own sardonic way, endearing. And he could never bring himself to tell Justin that she was just manipulating him, using him for her own sick, twisted reasons. Whatever those were.

And then he understood, even though he couldn’t explain, why Justin wouldn’t leave Britney. It was the same reason he wouldn’t tell Justin the truth about her.

Because it might change things.

And honestly? They preferred the way things were against the risk of being torn apart. As hard as it was, it was safe. And they knew they’d be together, even if the situation did get unbearable at times. At least they had that.

But he craved so much more. He wanted Justin to be his and his alone. Yet he couldn’t live without Justin’s love.

So he took what he had. It was the only thing he could do.

Loving Justin was like punishment.

A guilty, painful punishment that he couldn’t get enough of.

The joy of loving him was lost on her after a while, and she knew that all three of them were miserable.

Yet she still couldn’t let him go. She wouldn’t. She wasn’t about to lose to Wade.

So she kept hanging on.

And it was like torture. She loved him, but she hated that he only stayed with her to do the right thing.

She hated that he didn’t love her back.

And it hurt. Because he used to love her. And he didn’t anymore.

He loved Wade.

And so she kept him in the only way she could, and she made everyone miserable in the process. Yet she couldn’t bring herself to just let go.

Loving Justin was punishment.