The Untitled Series:
First Steps
 
by
Annie



Joey sighed and looked around the deserted breakfast area of their hotel. It had been this way for the past couple of weeks, him sitting alone at the table for five, waiting for everyone to come down and eat together, but no one ever did.

Even if they were in a different hotel than the one right before, it didn't change anything. They never ate together anymore. They barely even did stuff as a group anymore, unless it was necessary. Rehearsals, photo shoots, concerts, and that was about it.

Chris walked into the room and sat down next to Joey. "Why do you do this, man? Why do you sit here every morning, expecting us all to come down and eat together, like everything's okay with us. In case you didn't notice, this group has some major issues right now."

"Oh really, so *that* must be why everyone's acting so awkward all the time! Thanks Chris," Joey said with a smile.

"Shut up," Chris said with a laugh, and then said, "At least everyone still likes me and you."

Joey nodded his agreement.

"Yeah, I don't who it'd be worse to be. I mean, JC lost Lance and Justin, plus he has to deal with his whole guilt complex thing I'm sure he's been building up. Then there's Justin, who is just stuck in the middle of that whole mess. And Lance, who has to deal with being cheated on, turned down, and heartbreak. Who would I most want to be? None of them," Joey said.

Chris agreed and they ate their cereal in silence. After they finished, they threw away the plastic plates the hotel provided and left.

"You'll be back tomorrow, won't you?" Chris asked Joey as they walked back to their room.

"Where else would I be?"

 

Lance was trying as hard as he could to concentrate on the papers he was working on, but his mind just wasn't into it.

It had been three weeks. Three of the worst weeks of his life. Three weeks of crying himself to sleep every night, three weeks of avoiding everyone and making contact with the other guys only when it was necessary.

Three weeks of pure hell.

Lance sighed and moved all of the papers scattered all over his bed into a neat pile and put them back into his bag. 'Might as well start packing, since we leave tonight,' Lance thought as he started to gather all his things that were scattered around the hotel room.

As he packed, his thoughts were running a marathon. He was torn between wanting to try again with JC and giving it a chance with Justin. He knew that JC would give them one more chance in a heartbeat, but that was only because he had been the one to mess them up in the first place. Justin, though, might turn Lance down. Lance could still remember the day he had tried to get Justin to be with him. At the time, Lance had felt horrible by being rejected, but after the reality of JC had done had sank in, Lance felt himself falling for Justin even more for what he did.

What frustrated Lance the most was that he felt like JC hadn't even cheated on him, because he was still trying to chose between him and Justin. Only now things were different. He could risk getting shot down by Justin, or be with JC and risk getting his heart broken again.

Lance let out a frustrated sigh and grabbed the first thing he could get his hands on, throwing it across the room. It was only after he had thrown it, that he realized it was the necklace Justin had given him. Lance went over and picked it up, making sure he hadn't broken it. It was still in perfect condition, and Lance just stared at it, willing it to give him the answers he wanted. The answers he needed.

Lance jumped when someone knocked on the door, and slipped the necklace in his pocket. He went to the door and opened it, revealing Justin holding a McDonald's bag, grinning.

"Hungry?" he asked.

Lance couldn't hold back his small smile as he nodded.

"Good, because I got you food, and I would've been mad if I had wasted my $2.50," Justin said jokingly.

Lance opened the door for Justin to come in and as he was shutting it, he thought he saw JC come out of the elevator, but he decided he was probably imagining it.

"So, I have hash browns, egg McMuffins, sausage McMuffins, muffin muffins, stuff like that," Justin said, going through the bag and dumping out all the contents onto the table right by the door.

"You didn't have to get me breakfast," Lance said.

"Yeah, I did. You never eat anymore. Look at you, Mr. Stick Boy. I'm gonna start calling you sticky," Justin said, opening on of the egg McMuffins and taking a bite.

"You do that and people'll get the wrong idea," Lance said with a grin before he could stop himself. Justin coughed, choking on his food, and once he cleared his throat, he laughed. "And here I was, thinking you had a clean mind."

Lance just smiled and grabbed the hash browns. "This is sweet. Thank you, Justin," Lance said and Justin looked down, his face turning red.

"Well, I figure what better way to get you to talk to me than to bring you food?" Justin asked.

Lance looked away for a moment. "About that, I'm really sorry Justin. There's no reason me and you can't still hang out and stuff, I guess I just didn't want the other guys to-"

"Think that we're together," Justin finished for him. "It's cool. You always were the peace maker."

Lance laughed silently and gave Justin a tiny smile. "I guess not this time, huh?"

"Hey, this whole mess isn't your fault. You can't help it if you're so wonderful that it makes it hard for anyone not to want you," Justin said, blushing when he realized what he had said exactly.

Lance thought what Justin had said was so sweet, he didn't know what to say. "Look, I think I better go now, before I-"

"Do you really mean that?" Lance asked, interrupting Justin.

"What? That you're wonderful and it's hard not to love you? I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it."

They finished eating their breakfast in awkward silence, and when they finished, Justin said, "I need to go. See you later, right?"

Lance stood up and said, "Of course." Lance walked Justin to the door and opened it for him. "Ever the gentlemen," Justin said with a slight smile.

"So, do you want your money for breakfast?" Lance asked.

"Yes, plus interest," Justin said. "No, you nerd, I don't want any money. Let's just think of it this way. Next time we eat out, you pay for me."

"Yeah, and next time we eat out, your meal will cost fifty dollars," Lance said.

"Exactly," Justin grinned. Lance just shook his head and waved good-bye to Justin. He moved back into his room to shut the door, and he looked up to see JC, across the hall, the door to his room open, as if he was just about to go in.

They just stood there, looking at each other, saying nothing.

"Morning," Lance finally said.

"Good morning," JC replied. More silence. Then, "So, you and Justin went out to breakfast this morning?"

"No, he brought me something from the McDonald's down the street."

"Oh. So...how are you Lance?" JC asked, trying to make pleasant conversation.

"I've been better," Lance replied.

They stood there for a moment in the silence again. "So, are you and Justin..." JC asked, letting his sentence trail off.

"Not that it's any of your business, but no, we're not together. Anything else you need to know?" Lance asked, his tone a little colder than he had intended it to be.

"Dammit Lance, I was just asking. Okay, maybe I wanted to know if I still had a shot with you, maybe I miss talking to you, I'm sorry if me trying to fix this void between us isn't acceptable to you," JC said, irritated.

"We're never going to be anything more than just friends, ever again. There's too much damage, too much pain. I want to be friends with you JC, I do, but anything more than that isn't a possibility for me right now. You broke my heart, and I can't just forgive you for that," Lance said, looking at JC sadly.

JC looked away and nodded. "I better get packing, we leave here pretty soon."

Lance watched as JC turned and went back into his room.

"But I want to," Lance added softly as he turned into his own room.

 

Chris came back to the group with a horrified look on his face. They were all standing in the lobby of the new hotel they had just arrived at, and Chris had volunteered to get their room keys.

"There's a problem guys, they screwed up our room reservations. Instead of five separate rooms, they gave us two rooms, one with three beds, one with two. And they can't fix it."

Everyone was quiet as they realized what that meant. There was no putting Lance, Justin, and JC all in separate rooms. Anyway you worked it, two of them were going to end up together.

"Well, I think this is going to present a problem."

"You're kidding me, right? That isn't going to work, Chris!" JC exclaimed, putting his bags down and heading towards the receptionist's desk.

"Well, don't yell at me," Chris said to JC's retreating back.

"You think they let you sleep in the hall?" Lance asked with a smile, trying to relieve the tension.

"No way are you sleeping in the hall, Lance," Justin said, and Lance looked down, hiding his smile at how cute Justin had just sounded.

"Well, I guess I'll take the room for two," Lance said, knowing that option left him with either JC or Justin, because there was no way either would agree to be in the same room together. Lance didn't care either way, but part of him was hoping he would have to sleep in the same room with Justin.

"No, I got a better idea, and it'll make this fair," Justin said as JC returned with an angry look on his face. "We're stuck with the situation," he said. "Welcome to the present the rest of us are currently living," Justin muttered as he signaled a bellhop to come over to them.

"Can I help you sir?" he asked Justin before JC could reply with a comeback.

"Yeah, I need you to take all of these bags and put three by one room and two by the other, it doesn't matter which bags go where," Justin said.

"Okay, and what rooms would those be sir?" the bellhop asked.

"263 and 264," Chris told him. The bellhop nodded and left to get his bag cart so he could take all the bags at once.

"It's fair this way," Justin said as they watched the bellhop get into the elevator. Everyone nodded and walked over to the elevator.

Praying that Chris and Joey didn't end up in the two person room.

 

The elevator doors opened and everyone walked down the hall in silence, acting like nervous little kids. Well, they were nervous.

They got to their rooms and looked from door to door. "I'm here," Lance said, pointing to one of two bags. "I'm over here," Chris said, spotting his bag under Joey's. "So are you Joey, and it looks like this one..." Chris said, trying to see what the bag on the bottom of the large pile looked like. "Is JC's," he finished.

"Cool," JC said, trying to sound natural as he took the room key from Chris and opened the door, going inside quickly.

"Here," Chris said, tossing Lance the key to the room he would be sharing with Justin. Lance nodded his thanks and opened the door to the room, dragging his bags in with Justin dragging along behind him.

"This isn't going to be weird for you, is it?" Justin asked as soon as they had gotten situated.

Lance looked over at Justin, surprised. "No, why would you think that?"

"Well, you know, because of the whole 'I'm-still-in-love-with-you' bit. You did know I was still in love with you, right?" Justin asked, suddenly worried that he had just said something completely stupid.

Lance didn't know what to say. Luckily for him, Justin spoke up. "I'm not going to act on that, though. You belong with JC."

"Wh...what?" Lance asked, looking at Justin in disbelief.

"I said you belong with JC. You're not the only one who's spent the past three weeks thinking Lance. I had no right to get in the way of you guys, and I know that now. I... I think you should give him another chance, because if you don't, you're always going to regret it."

Lance looked at Justin, stunned into silence.

"And if it really doesn't work out for you, then I'll be here. I'm willing to be your alternate, I guess you could say," Justin said with a small grin.

Lance still couldn't say anything.

"I'm gonna go for a walk now, okay? I trust you'll do the right thing, Lance," Justin said, getting up and leaving the room.

Lance watched him leave, his mind working miles a minute.

What now?

Lance already knew the answer.

 

JC wasn't going to let it bother him, that Lance and Justin were in the same room and probably already screwing each other to next Tuesday. He wasn't.

He looked around the deserted hotel room, as if seeing something interesting would take his mind off Justin and Lance having sex. There was a timid knock on the door, and before JC could go open it, Lance walked in and shut the door behind him.

"Chris and Joey aren't here," JC said, looking away.

"Good, because I want to talk to you," Lance said, and JC heard the seriousness of his voice.

"You and Justin are together, aren't you?" JC asked, his voice breaking as he felt tears forming in his eyes. He had lost Lance forever.

"No," Lance said softly. JC turned to face Lance and asked, "Then why are you here?"

Lance flinched at JC's angry tone, and he almost backed out of what he was about to say, but he didn't. He couldn't.

"I'm here to ask you to forgive me," Lance said.

"What?"

"I'm here to ask you to forgive me for placing all the blame for everything that went wrong on you, because it wasn't just your fault. It was mine too, and I'm asking you to forgive me for that."

JC couldn't believe his ears. Lance was asking for *his* forgiveness?

"And I'm also here to make sure it's not too late. That I haven't lost you, because I was wrong in thinking that my heart was the only heart that got broken. If you still want me, I want to be with you. That's my decision, JC. There's nothing but friendship and admiration for Justin in my heart, because every ounce of love I possess belongs to you."

The room was silent, and JC was looking at Lance with wide eyes.

"This is a dream, right? You're asking *me* to forgive *you* for everything that's happened?" JC asked, and Lance nodded.

"And...and you want me back?"

Lance nodded again. JC took a deep breath, as if that would bring him back to reality, because he knew that this wasn't happening. Fate wasn't that kind.

"JC, please, say something. Anything..." Lance said, and JC saw that Lance was crying.

"How can you need my forgiveness when you didn't do anything, Lance?" JC asked, as the tears he was holding back fell from his eyes.

"How can you need mine?"

They looked at each other, and before they knew it, they were in each other's arms, hugging each other tight, as if letting go with spiral them into a black abyss.

"Oh God Lance... I'm so sorry," JC said, running his hand through Lance's hair.

"Me too, Josh. I love you so much...so much."

They stood there in each other's arms, for how long? Neither one knew.

All they knew was that they both felt better than they had in a long time.

 

Justin grabbed one of his shirts that was on his bed and threw it into his bag, looking around to see what else was his.

JC was walking back to the room he was sharing with Chris and Joey with a smile on his face, carrying the ice box, now filled with ice. He heard noises coming from Lance and Justin's room, and saw that the door was ajar.

He set down the box next to the door and opened it, seeing Justin throwing all of his things into his bag.

"Justin," JC said, and Justin looked up, stopping what he was doing.

"Hey. Lance isn't here right now, he went to go get Chinese food, that's what Chris and Joey wanted."

"I know, he asked me to go with him, but I didn't."

"Oh," Justin said, going back to packing up his things.

"What are you doing?" JC asked.

"Packing. Me and you are trading rooms. Lance and you obviously got back together, or else you wouldn't be talking to me as if you liked me," Justin said, bending down and looking under the bed to see if anything had ended up under there.

"About that, look Justin, I didn't-"

"Don't JC," Justin said, getting up and cutting JC off. "Don't apologize, because there's nothing you need to apologize for. This whole time, I've made myself believe that everything that happened was all your fault, because I didn't want to accept that it was me that pushed you into the arms of that guy you slept with. After I started thinking, I realized I had no right to tell Lance how I felt, to ruin everything when all you were looking for was support. I'm sorry, JC, for everything I did, and I'd consider myself lucky if you still talk to me."

"Justin, you're still my best friend. That never changed, and it hurt almost as much as losing Lance to know that I had lost my best friend. I'll do more than just talk to you Justin, I'll still be your best friend," JC said, and he could feel himself crying. Again.

Justin looked at JC, and JC could see that he was crying too. "If it wasn't for you, Lance and I wouldn't be back together."

"If it wasn't for me, you guys wouldn't have broken up in the first place," Justin pointed out with a laugh.

JC chuckled, and said, "Justin, I'm sorry for everything I did, too."

Justin smiled. "I'm gonna hug you now, okay?"

JC nodded and Justin walked over to JC and embraced the older man. While he had felt better knowing that he had Lance back, he felt even better as he and Justin started to mend their friendship.

"I'm not sorry I punched you, though. You deserved that," Justin said with a grin as he pulled away.

JC laughed, "Yeah, I did."

"So, are you just gonna stand there, or are you gonna help me with my bags, since I'm letting you sleep in here out of the goodness out of my own heart?" Justin said, going over to the bed and grabbing his bag.

"I don't know, I'm debating it," JC said as he pretended to ponder Justin's question.

Justin grabbed a sock off the floor and threw it at JC, hitting him square in the face.

"Just be happy it wasn't a shoe," Justin commented as he walked past JC, and before JC could turn around, he heard a yell, followed by a thud and the sound of scattering ice.

"Who the hell put an ice box in the middle of the damn hall?" Justin hollered and JC laughed.

It was his first real laugh in a long time.

 

Joey looked around the deserted breakfast area, looking at his watch, and sadly decided that the group wasn't coming. Again.

Before Joey could get up, however, Chris walked in and sat down. That was normal, though. What wasn't normal was that Justin followed him in, and then JC and Lance, who were hand in hand.

Everyone sat down and smiled timidly at each other.

It was a first step.