Joey sighed and looked around the
deserted breakfast area of their hotel. It had been this way for the
past couple of weeks, him sitting alone at the table for five,
waiting for everyone to come down and eat together, but no one ever
did.
Even if they were in a different hotel than the one right before,
it didn't change anything. They never ate together anymore. They
barely even did stuff as a group anymore, unless it was necessary.
Rehearsals, photo shoots, concerts, and that was about it.
Chris walked into the room and sat down next to Joey. "Why do you
do this, man? Why do you sit here every morning, expecting us all to
come down and eat together, like everything's okay with us. In case
you didn't notice, this group has some major issues right now."
"Oh really, so *that* must be why everyone's acting so awkward
all the time! Thanks Chris," Joey said with a smile.
"Shut up," Chris said with a laugh, and then said, "At least
everyone still likes me and you."
Joey nodded his agreement.
"Yeah, I don't who it'd be worse to be. I mean, JC lost Lance and
Justin, plus he has to deal with his whole guilt complex thing I'm
sure he's been building up. Then there's Justin, who is just stuck
in the middle of that whole mess. And Lance, who has to deal with
being cheated on, turned down, and heartbreak. Who would I most want
to be? None of them," Joey said.
Chris agreed and they ate their cereal in silence. After they
finished, they threw away the plastic plates the hotel provided and
left.
"You'll be back tomorrow, won't you?" Chris asked Joey as they
walked back to their room.
"Where else would I be?"
Lance was trying as hard as he could to concentrate on the papers
he was working on, but his mind just wasn't into it.
It had been three weeks. Three of the worst weeks of his life.
Three weeks of crying himself to sleep every night, three weeks of
avoiding everyone and making contact with the other guys only when
it was necessary.
Three weeks of pure hell.
Lance sighed and moved all of the papers scattered all over his
bed into a neat pile and put them back into his bag. 'Might as well
start packing, since we leave tonight,' Lance thought as he started
to gather all his things that were scattered around the hotel room.
As he packed, his thoughts were running a marathon. He was torn
between wanting to try again with JC and giving it a chance with
Justin. He knew that JC would give them one more chance in a
heartbeat, but that was only because he had been the one to mess
them up in the first place. Justin, though, might turn Lance down.
Lance could still remember the day he had tried to get Justin to be
with him. At the time, Lance had felt horrible by being rejected,
but after the reality of JC had done had sank in, Lance felt himself
falling for Justin even more for what he did.
What frustrated Lance the most was that he felt like JC hadn't
even cheated on him, because he was still trying to chose between
him and Justin. Only now things were different. He could risk
getting shot down by Justin, or be with JC and risk getting his
heart broken again.
Lance let out a frustrated sigh and grabbed the first thing he
could get his hands on, throwing it across the room. It was only
after he had thrown it, that he realized it was the necklace Justin
had given him. Lance went over and picked it up, making sure he
hadn't broken it. It was still in perfect condition, and Lance just
stared at it, willing it to give him the answers he wanted. The
answers he needed.
Lance jumped when someone knocked on the door, and slipped the
necklace in his pocket. He went to the door and opened it, revealing
Justin holding a McDonald's bag, grinning.
"Hungry?" he asked.
Lance couldn't hold back his small smile as he nodded.
"Good, because I got you food, and I would've been mad if I had
wasted my $2.50," Justin said jokingly.
Lance opened the door for Justin to come in and as he was
shutting it, he thought he saw JC come out of the elevator, but he
decided he was probably imagining it.
"So, I have hash browns, egg McMuffins, sausage McMuffins, muffin
muffins, stuff like that," Justin said, going through the bag and
dumping out all the contents onto the table right by the door.
"You didn't have to get me breakfast," Lance said.
"Yeah, I did. You never eat anymore. Look at you, Mr. Stick Boy.
I'm gonna start calling you sticky," Justin said, opening on of the
egg McMuffins and taking a bite.
"You do that and people'll get the wrong idea," Lance said with a
grin before he could stop himself. Justin coughed, choking on his
food, and once he cleared his throat, he laughed. "And here I was,
thinking you had a clean mind."
Lance just smiled and grabbed the hash browns. "This is sweet.
Thank you, Justin," Lance said and Justin looked down, his face
turning red.
"Well, I figure what better way to get you to talk to me than to
bring you food?" Justin asked.
Lance looked away for a moment. "About that, I'm really sorry
Justin. There's no reason me and you can't still hang out and stuff,
I guess I just didn't want the other guys to-"
"Think that we're together," Justin finished for him. "It's cool.
You always were the peace maker."
Lance laughed silently and gave Justin a tiny smile. "I guess not
this time, huh?"
"Hey, this whole mess isn't your fault. You can't help it if
you're so wonderful that it makes it hard for anyone not to want
you," Justin said, blushing when he realized what he had said
exactly.
Lance thought what Justin had said was so sweet, he didn't know
what to say. "Look, I think I better go now, before I-"
"Do you really mean that?" Lance asked, interrupting Justin.
"What? That you're wonderful and it's hard not to love you? I
wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it."
They finished eating their breakfast in awkward silence, and when
they finished, Justin said, "I need to go. See you later, right?"
Lance stood up and said, "Of course." Lance walked Justin to the
door and opened it for him. "Ever the gentlemen," Justin said with a
slight smile.
"So, do you want your money for breakfast?" Lance asked.
"Yes, plus interest," Justin said. "No, you nerd, I don't want
any money. Let's just think of it this way. Next time we eat out,
you pay for me."
"Yeah, and next time we eat out, your meal will cost fifty
dollars," Lance said.
"Exactly," Justin grinned. Lance just shook his head and waved
good-bye to Justin. He moved back into his room to shut the door,
and he looked up to see JC, across the hall, the door to his room
open, as if he was just about to go in.
They just stood there, looking at each other, saying nothing.
"Morning," Lance finally said.
"Good morning," JC replied. More silence. Then, "So, you and
Justin went out to breakfast this morning?"
"No, he brought me something from the McDonald's down the
street."
"Oh. So...how are you Lance?" JC asked, trying to make pleasant
conversation.
"I've been better," Lance replied.
They stood there for a moment in the silence again. "So, are you
and Justin..." JC asked, letting his sentence trail off.
"Not that it's any of your business, but no, we're not together.
Anything else you need to know?" Lance asked, his tone a little
colder than he had intended it to be.
"Dammit Lance, I was just asking. Okay, maybe I wanted to know if
I still had a shot with you, maybe I miss talking to you, I'm sorry
if me trying to fix this void between us isn't acceptable to you,"
JC said, irritated.
"We're never going to be anything more than just friends, ever
again. There's too much damage, too much pain. I want to be friends
with you JC, I do, but anything more than that isn't a possibility
for me right now. You broke my heart, and I can't just forgive you
for that," Lance said, looking at JC sadly.
JC looked away and nodded. "I better get packing, we leave here
pretty soon."
Lance watched as JC turned and went back into his room.
"But I want to," Lance added softly as he turned into his own
room.
Chris came back to the group with a horrified look on his face.
They were all standing in the lobby of the new hotel they had just
arrived at, and Chris had volunteered to get their room keys.
"There's a problem guys, they screwed up our room reservations.
Instead of five separate rooms, they gave us two rooms, one with
three beds, one with two. And they can't fix it."
Everyone was quiet as they realized what that meant. There was no
putting Lance, Justin, and JC all in separate rooms. Anyway you
worked it, two of them were going to end up together.
"Well, I think this is going to present a
problem."
"You're kidding me, right? That isn't going
to work, Chris!" JC exclaimed, putting his bags down and heading
towards the receptionist's desk.
"Well, don't yell at me," Chris said to JC's
retreating back.
"You think they let you sleep in the hall?"
Lance asked with a smile, trying to relieve the tension.
"No way are you sleeping in the hall,
Lance," Justin said, and Lance looked down, hiding his smile at how
cute Justin had just sounded.
"Well, I guess I'll take the room for two,"
Lance said, knowing that option left him with either JC or Justin,
because there was no way either would agree to be in the same room
together. Lance didn't care either way, but part of him was hoping
he would have to sleep in the same room with Justin.
"No, I got a better idea, and it'll make
this fair," Justin said as JC returned with an angry look on his
face. "We're stuck with the situation," he said. "Welcome to the
present the rest of us are currently living," Justin muttered as he
signaled a bellhop to come over to them.
"Can I help you sir?" he asked Justin before
JC could reply with a comeback.
"Yeah, I need you to take all of these bags
and put three by one room and two by the other, it doesn't matter
which bags go where," Justin said.
"Okay, and what rooms would those be sir?"
the bellhop asked.
"263 and 264," Chris told him. The bellhop
nodded and left to get his bag cart so he could take all the bags at
once.
"It's fair this way," Justin said as they
watched the bellhop get into the elevator. Everyone nodded and
walked over to the elevator.
Praying that Chris and Joey didn't end up in
the two person room.
The elevator doors opened and everyone
walked down the hall in silence, acting like nervous little kids.
Well, they were nervous.
They got to their rooms and looked from door
to door. "I'm here," Lance said, pointing to one of two bags. "I'm
over here," Chris said, spotting his bag under Joey's. "So are you
Joey, and it looks like this one..." Chris said, trying to see what
the bag on the bottom of the large pile looked like. "Is JC's," he
finished.
"Cool," JC said, trying to sound natural as
he took the room key from Chris and opened the door, going inside
quickly.
"Here," Chris said, tossing Lance the key to
the room he would be sharing with Justin. Lance nodded his thanks
and opened the door to the room, dragging his bags in with Justin
dragging along behind him.
"This isn't going to be weird for you, is
it?" Justin asked as soon as they had gotten situated.
Lance looked over at Justin, surprised. "No,
why would you think that?"
"Well, you know, because of the whole
'I'm-still-in-love-with-you' bit. You did know I was still in love
with you, right?" Justin asked, suddenly worried that he had just
said something completely stupid.
Lance didn't know what to say. Luckily for
him, Justin spoke up. "I'm not going to act on that, though. You
belong with JC."
"Wh...what?" Lance asked, looking at Justin
in disbelief.
"I said you belong with JC. You're not the
only one who's spent the past three weeks thinking Lance. I had no
right to get in the way of you guys, and I know that now. I... I
think you should give him another chance, because if you don't,
you're always going to regret it."
Lance looked at Justin, stunned into
silence.
"And if it really doesn't work out for you,
then I'll be here. I'm willing to be your alternate, I guess you
could say," Justin said with a small grin.
Lance still couldn't say anything.
"I'm gonna go for a walk now, okay? I trust
you'll do the right thing, Lance," Justin said, getting up and
leaving the room.
Lance watched him leave, his mind working
miles a minute.
What now?
Lance already knew the answer.
JC wasn't going to let it bother him, that
Lance and Justin were in the same room and probably already screwing
each other to next Tuesday. He wasn't.
He looked around the deserted hotel room, as
if seeing something interesting would take his mind off Justin and
Lance having sex. There was a timid knock on the door, and before JC
could go open it, Lance walked in and shut the door behind him.
"Chris and Joey aren't here," JC said,
looking away.
"Good, because I want to talk to you," Lance
said, and JC heard the seriousness of his voice.
"You and Justin are together, aren't you?"
JC asked, his voice breaking as he felt tears forming in his eyes.
He had lost Lance forever.
"No," Lance said softly. JC turned to face
Lance and asked, "Then why are you here?"
Lance flinched at JC's angry tone, and he
almost backed out of what he was about to say, but he didn't. He
couldn't.
"I'm here to ask you to forgive me," Lance
said.
"What?"
"I'm here to ask you to forgive me for
placing all the blame for everything that went wrong on you, because
it wasn't just your fault. It was mine too, and I'm asking you to
forgive me for that."
JC couldn't believe his ears. Lance was
asking for *his* forgiveness?
"And I'm also here to make sure it's not too
late. That I haven't lost you, because I was wrong in thinking that
my heart was the only heart that got broken. If you still want me, I
want to be with you. That's my decision, JC. There's nothing but
friendship and admiration for Justin in my heart, because every
ounce of love I possess belongs to you."
The room was silent, and JC was looking at
Lance with wide eyes.
"This is a dream, right? You're asking *me*
to forgive *you* for everything that's happened?" JC asked, and
Lance nodded.
"And...and you want me back?"
Lance nodded again. JC took a deep breath,
as if that would bring him back to reality, because he knew that
this wasn't happening. Fate wasn't that kind.
"JC, please, say something. Anything..."
Lance said, and JC saw that Lance was crying.
"How can you need my forgiveness when you
didn't do anything, Lance?" JC asked, as the tears he was holding
back fell from his eyes.
"How can you need mine?"
They looked at each other, and before they
knew it, they were in each other's arms, hugging each other tight,
as if letting go with spiral them into a black abyss.
"Oh God Lance... I'm so sorry," JC said,
running his hand through Lance's hair.
"Me too, Josh. I love you so much...so
much."
They stood there in each other's arms, for
how long? Neither one knew.
All they knew was that they both felt better
than they had in a long time.
Justin grabbed one of his shirts that was on
his bed and threw it into his bag, looking around to see what else
was his.
JC was walking back to the room he was
sharing with Chris and Joey with a smile on his face, carrying the
ice box, now filled with ice. He heard noises coming from Lance and
Justin's room, and saw that the door was ajar.
He set down the box next to the door and
opened it, seeing Justin throwing all of his things into his bag.
"Justin," JC said, and Justin looked up,
stopping what he was doing.
"Hey. Lance isn't here right now, he went to
go get Chinese food, that's what Chris and Joey wanted."
"I know, he asked me to go with him, but I
didn't."
"Oh," Justin said, going back to packing up
his things.
"What are you doing?" JC asked.
"Packing. Me and you are trading rooms.
Lance and you obviously got back together, or else you wouldn't be
talking to me as if you liked me," Justin said, bending down and
looking under the bed to see if anything had ended up under there.
"About that, look Justin, I didn't-"
"Don't JC," Justin said, getting up and
cutting JC off. "Don't apologize, because there's nothing you need
to apologize for. This whole time, I've made myself believe that
everything that happened was all your fault, because I didn't want
to accept that it was me that pushed you into the arms of that guy
you slept with. After I started thinking, I realized I had no right
to tell Lance how I felt, to ruin everything when all you were
looking for was support. I'm sorry, JC, for everything I did, and
I'd consider myself lucky if you still talk to me."
"Justin, you're still my best friend. That
never changed, and it hurt almost as much as losing Lance to know
that I had lost my best friend. I'll do more than just talk to you
Justin, I'll still be your best friend," JC said, and he could feel
himself crying. Again.
Justin looked at JC, and JC could see that
he was crying too. "If it wasn't for you, Lance and I wouldn't be
back together."
"If it wasn't for me, you guys wouldn't have
broken up in the first place," Justin pointed out with a laugh.
JC chuckled, and said, "Justin, I'm sorry
for everything I did, too."
Justin smiled. "I'm gonna hug you now,
okay?"
JC nodded and Justin walked over to JC and
embraced the older man. While he had felt better knowing that he had
Lance back, he felt even better as he and Justin started to mend
their friendship.
"I'm not sorry I punched you, though. You
deserved that," Justin said with a grin as he pulled away.
JC laughed, "Yeah, I did."
"So, are you just gonna stand there, or are
you gonna help me with my bags, since I'm letting you sleep in here
out of the goodness out of my own heart?" Justin said, going over to
the bed and grabbing his bag.
"I don't know, I'm debating it," JC said as
he pretended to ponder Justin's question.
Justin grabbed a sock off the floor and
threw it at JC, hitting him square in the face.
"Just be happy it wasn't a shoe," Justin
commented as he walked past JC, and before JC could turn around, he
heard a yell, followed by a thud and the sound of scattering ice.
"Who the hell put an ice box in the middle
of the damn hall?" Justin hollered and JC laughed.
It was his first real laugh in a long time.
Joey looked around the deserted breakfast
area, looking at his watch, and sadly decided that the group wasn't
coming. Again.
Before Joey could get up, however, Chris
walked in and sat down. That was normal, though. What wasn't normal
was that Justin followed him in, and then JC and Lance, who were
hand in hand.
Everyone sat down and smiled timidly at each
other.
It was a first
step.